My Personal Addiction Story

In December of 2006 I was doing some shopping with a few friends for an upcoming New Years Eve party. It was on my way home that evening that I was the victim of a terrible traffic accident that resulted in breaking my left femur.

It was cold outside, but the weather was not bad, for December. I remember clearly that there was no snow on the ground yet. I was headed East at around 55 miles an hour when another driver heading the opposite direction lost control and crossed the center line. Before I could even think about reacting I slammed into the other vehicle.. I was wearing my seatbelt but my vehicle hit the other car with such an impact that I was thrown into the steering wheel of my car, breaking my left femur about six inches above the knee. (Photo Below)

Broken Femur X-Ray

My broken left femur.

I am very lucky to be alive and telling you my story. The accident could have been much worse. If I were not wearing my seatbelt I am positive that I would have been thrown through the front windshield. What followed was a major surgery to insert a titanium rod down into my left femur to stabilize the bone and allow it to heal. I was able to go home two days after the surgery, but it took months and months to get back to the point where I could get around well enough to take care of myself.

My intramedullary titanium nail.

This is the hardware I had inside of my femur to stabilize it.

Throughout the recovery period after my initial surgery I was on prescription pain medication. I started on Vicodin 750 milligrams three times a day. I took them as needed. I did not abuse them in any way. I was aware of that Vicodin was a narcotic and carried the possibility of abuse with it. After my prescription for Vicodin ran out I was then put on Ultram, and after that Darvocet, and then back to the Vicodin. The reasoning from my orthopedic specialist’s point of view was that this rotation of pain meds would help to lower the abuse potential that these drugs carried. I had absolutely zero issues with abuse or dependence during this period. So the strategy of rotating these drugs seemed to work.

About a year and a half later I began to notice SEVERE pain while bending over in a certain manner. I mean, like excruciating pain, like I had not felt since I was first put in traction on the side of the road when the accident happened. One of the pins that held the titanium rod in place would catch on a tendon in my left hip. When this would happen it caused immense pain until I moved my leg around in the right way to free the stuck tendon. The solution to this issue was another surgery to remove the titanium rod and pins holding it in place. My femur was fully healed by this time and the titanium rod was really no longer necessary. This surgery took a fraction of the time to do compared with the previous surgery to put the rod in. The recovery period was also shorter for this surgery, about two and a half months.

After the second surgery and several months of physical therapy, I began to notice other painful issues with my left leg and hip as well as my lower back on the left side. If I stood in one position too long, sat in the same position too long, or if I were to go on too long of a walk, I would get a burning type of pain in my left hip combined with a numbness and tingling that traveled down my left leg into my knee. The second thing was that along with the numb, burning pain in my left hip and leg I would also have some pretty terrible left lower back pain, radiating up from my left hip and buttocks.

The Drugs

Both of these issues were quite troublesome to me so I began ongoing treatment with my family doctor, who almost instantly put me on Norco 7.5 milligrams, (an opioid narcotic), three times a day, or as needed. Again, I knew that these types of drugs carried the potential for addiction, but to be honest with you, I really did not understand addiction, drug tolerance, or that some addictions carried a physical withdrawal period associated with long-term use. My doctor failed to explain the perils of addiction to me completely. These types of drugs did not honestly take the pain away, but they made the pain seem easier to tolerate. Little did I know that I was heading down a slippery slope, ever closer to physical dependence and psychological addiction.

After many x-rays and MRI scans, along with a few other tests, it was clear to both my family doctor and my pain specialist that my issues were being caused by a laceration of my sciatic nerve on my left side. This type of nerve damage is not uncommon in patients that have sustained the type of injury that I had.

Nerve pain is commonly referred to as neuropathic pain. My team of doctors first took the route of cortisone injections in my left hip area to see if it would alleviate some of the pain. To be perfectly honest I was all for anything that held the potential of giving me some relief from the pain, but the cortisone injections simply did not provide. The next option was a procedure known as a rhizotomy to sever the nerve roots from the spinal cord and thus bypass the sciatic nerve completely. The nerve roots will grow back and the procedure will have to be repeated every six months. The problem was that I was not getting six months worth of pain relief from it. The procedure helped with my lower back pain for about a month but it did not help with any of the other pain I was having, and the rhizotomy can only be done once every six months, so it was not really a plausible solution for long-term pain relief.

During this entire time I was being prescribed the Norco 7.5 milligram pills. In fact I had a prescription for them for almost four years. At first I was not abusing the pills. I would just go about my day and when I began to have pain I would take one. But after just a couple months of this one pill was not doing it any more and I would have to take two. I figured it was not a big deal. The dosage instructions said to take1-2 pills, three times a day. By now I knew that something was going on. I would begin to wake up feeling sick every morning until I took my morning Norco. The problem eventually became that I was running out of pills before I could get my prescription refilled. The first time I did not think anything of it and I called my doctor to see about having her send my refill to the pharmacy early, and it was not a problem. But the following month I did the same thing and to my surprise, my doctor seemed upset or annoyed that I was calling to get my pills early again, nevertheless, she refilled my prescription early. But boy was I in for a shock the following month.

After a few more tests and failed treatments, I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis and sacroiliac joint dysfunction. Spinal stenosis alone can cause sever weakness and numbness that radiates from the lower back down through the legs and buttocks, especially when the patient is physically active. The sacroiliac joint is medical jargon for the hip joint. Dysfunction of this joint causes sever pain that also radiates down through the legs. These two conditions combined with a lacerated sciatic nerve make for a pretty rough time.

I got a letter in the mail. It was from my doctors office. I thought that it was kind of odd, as they rarely ever corresponded with me via snail mail. I opened the letter to find out that my doctor could no longer see me as a patient! I was devastated. It had taken me quite some time to find a doctor in the first place that would take the no-fault auto coverage as health insurance. I work on a farm in a small town and the money I make is generally spent before I even get it. Needless to say I was worried for several reasons.

I was addicted to the opioid pain killers I had been eating for the past four and a half years. Plain and simple. After I lost my doctor and blew through the last of my prescription I decided to try to quit cold turkey. That was a mistake. I was so sick. Vomiting, nausea, feeling cold and clammy, sweats headache, and on top of all of that my normal leg, hip, and lower back pain. I could not do it. The withdrawal was too difficult.

By the end of day two I was losing my mind. I began searching out anyone and I mean anyone who would sell me drugs on the street. I found that without the aid of insurance covering the cost of my addiction that I no longer had enough money to pay my bills. By this time, I had actual health insurance for the first time thanks to the ACA, but I had not found a doctor yet and simply could not wait. I had to work, and in order to not be sick and be able to work and keep my job, I had to use drugs. So that is exactly what I did. I am ashamed to even say it, but it is the truth.

I used for another year or so before finally learning about Suboxone, which is an opioid replacement therapy. You take the Suboxone in place of whatever opioid you were using before , be it Heroin or Hydrocodone. After you have been on it for a month or so your doctor begins to lower your dose bit by bit. Milligram by milligram. Until you are at such a low dose that you don’t even notice when you forget to take it, and then…. You forget to take it permanently. It was a lifesaver. It is the reason I am sitting here now and free from my addiction. I used suboxone to slowly lower my dose until I was able to just stop altogether. I am happy to say that I have been clean from opioids since January 2017! And I plan on keeping it that way.

Now that I am clean and sober from opioids, I want to share my story with others, in hopes that it may be of value or help someone out there who is suffering from the debilitating world of addiction. That is why I have started my weekly podcast called “Addictions”. Addiction. A-Z. I plan on covering the subject from as many angles as possible. I want to use this opportunity to take an in depth look at things and have a platform to discuss them with people. I will do interviews with others about the subject and hope to eventually be putting out more and more episodes! Thanks to any and all of you  in advance for supporting me. You can find the Addictions podcast on iTunes, Googleplay, and anywhere else you find podcasts, just search your favorite podcast app or directory for the word “Addictions”. Feel free to contact me if you have ideas for topics for me to cover on future episodes, or if you just need someone to talk to. I am always willing to lend an ear.



8 thoughts on “My Personal Addiction Story

  1. Thank you for sharing your story, many don’t understand how everyday meds are addictive. I take three, two are for my mental illness and one for Chronic Lyme Disease. I take Tramadol for the severe pain of Lyme. Having gone thru several full stone cold withdrawals I manage it very different. I keep separate from other meds in my case, unless so bad I’m in bed, take only one. I feel confident this withdrawal will be short and sweet.
    The others I have to manage in a similar way, I keep separate from med case but take as prescribed. I had to accept being addicted meant staying alive. I went thru total withdrawal to Xanax in August, the worst yet. I allowed the Lyme meds which weren’t working and supplementing Xanax. I also broke my rule of keeping in bottle out of my reach.
    Lyme took a large part of my memory, thus falling down on my patterns. For months my husband & I would count after two weeks to assure me I had enough to make it thru the month.
    I’m curious what solution doctors found to relieve your back, hip and leg pain.


    • I manage my pain on my own now. It is daily pain, but not excruciating, I can tolerate it fortunately. I generally just try to stay active and keep myself limber by stretching and doing various exercises. Thanks again for reading my story.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad to hear and understand how you would take a holistic route to healing/dealing. I feel like a kindred spirit in a way, we’ve walked the same road. I look forward to learning more about you. I think we can work together to educate people who don’t understand the legal ways they become addicts. My second site is
        The site is a collaborative of writers with different backgrounds, domestic violence, men’s sexual assault, mental illness, child abuse, PTSD, physical challenges. I started the site as an outlet for people who were is different phases of surviving read from writers who are at different stages of survival.
        I can clearly see how you could help the community in a non-addresses area. I don’t dig into writers background but I may be the only one who was a child drug addict and later a legal one. Check out the site if you like, I would be interested in what you think of the concept and always open for a critique on might help.
        I feel we could work together. You bring your deeply traumatic experience thru post and podcast which blows the doors open for many.
        Give me your thoughts.
        Private is cool,
        Take care, I’m glad you found my post and we met each other.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. What a horror story!
    You speak of buying drugs on the street, and finish with, “I am ashamed to even say it, but it is the truth.” Don’t be ashamed. This has been the fate of so many Americans, and often it’s a result of careless and irresponsible prescribing by doctors (frequently in order to get perks). Be proud; you went into recovery – in spite of your injury.

    Liked by 1 person

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